Songs in Bulleted Form

[beautifulduckweed]

And now, behold some songs in bulleted form, an idea shamelessly stolen from Ryan North:



Places you are welcomed to:

• The jungle

Things available to you in the jungle that we will be able to provide:

• Fun and games


• Everything you want


• Your disease


• If you've got the money, honey


• Anything you want
• As long as you don't take it from me

What we do in the jungle:

• Know the names


• Find whatever you may need


• Take it day by day

What you are in the jungle:

• A very sexy girl


• Who's very hard to please


• Who can taste the bright lights


• Unfortunately, not for free

Projected effects the jungle will have on you:

• Bring you to your knees


• Teach you how to live like an animal


• Bring you down

Things you must be willing to do if you want "it" in the jungle:

• Provide money


• Bleed

What I want while you're in the jungle:

• You to bleed


• You to scream


• You to feel my serpentine

Conditions in the jungle:

• Getting worse


• Day by day

Things you know:

• You're in the jungle


• Where you're going to die

Nonsensical exclamations expressed while in the jungle:

• Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na


• KA!

---

People who have got it going on:

• Stacy's mom


• Stacy's mom


• Stacy's mom


• Stacy's mom

Questions asked of Stacy:

• Whether I can come over after school


• So we can hang out by the pool


• Whether her mother has returned from her business trip


• Whether her mother is really there


• Or whether she is trying to give me the slip


• Whether Stacy remembers that time I mowed her lawn


• How her mother came out wearing only a towel


• And led me to believe she liked me by:


• Staring


• The way she said "you missed as spot over there"

Things I know:

• That Stacy thinks my conviction that her mother finds my pre-pubescent self sexually attractive is only a fantasy


• However, given their recent abandonment by her father, her mother could only benefit from the presence of a fine male specimen such as myself


• I might be wrong


• But I'm in love with Stacy's mom

What is imperative for Stacy to understand:

• She's not the girl for me

Who I want:

• Stacy's mom

Whom I have waited for for a long time:

• Stacy's mom

Whom I'm in love with:

• Stacy's mom

Coming up when I have the time: "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen and "Eli the Barrow Boy" by The Decemberists. Also, my version of "Casimir Pulaski Day," which is organizationally superior to theotherjay's, no matter what he claims.

(I think I may have found my new favorite time-waster. Oh, dear God.)

Comments

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Dying of laughter now.

I'm both magically amused and disturbed.

[li-kao.livejournal.com]

My brain insists that doing something like this to lyrics must essentially strip them of their worth as as a song, and yet my brain bounces merrily along to the bulleted beat of the transformed versions. Granted, I have a admitted (perhaps untoward) enthusiasm for unordered lists, but I don't think that really accounts for it, because everyone seems to "get it".

That Ryan fellow has ushered in a New Age of Alchemy.

P.S.

Excellent choice and execution on the Guns and Roses and Fountains of Wayne. For that, and for doing such a fabulous job taking the "Delivered Dish/Engine Driver" chimera to happy fruition, I'll buy for you a [pleasing intoxicant] of your choice as a reward!

Re: I'm both magically amused and disturbed.

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

I strive to amuse and disturb--and to do so magically, even--so I'm pleased I've succeeded with one person. As for pleasing intoxicants, I'll be very pleased to take you up on that offer should we meet, and hope to return the favor; good company and freshly-squeezed fruit juice are my two top choices, since my alcohol allergy results in slightly unpleasant, if comic, side-effects.