(no subject)

[beautifulduckweed]

This is probably old news to some of you, but I'd only recently caught wind of the text for the proposed legislation to authorize the Treasury to bail out the various concerns that spontaneously imploded last week (and by "spontaneously," I mean "we've been expecting this shitstorm since last year"), to the tune of $700 billion.

But the best part of this shit fiesta is the shit frosting that's topping a veritable masterpiece of shit-cakery: Section 8 of the proposed act, entitled, with an admirable brevity, "Review."

Sec. 8. Review.

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

Wow. That's not just balls. That's...that's, like, swingin' around a hairy pair the size of a 5-mile asteroid and using them to smack the living crap out of the taxpayers in the face before dive-bombing from a great height and creating a crater the size of a small country off the coast of New York.

(Yes, I know the analogy is terrible. Just...go with it, OK? I'm kind of too infuriated to make my stupid analogies less stupid right now. The other analogy that came to mind involved Paulson taking a red crayon to the Constitution, crossing out all of Articles I and III and writing "SPRING BREAK WOO!" all over them before streaking across the quad.)

(And THEN smacking everybody across the face with his 5-mile-wide balls.)

Coincidentally, we're covering judicial review of agency actions and regulations right now in Administrative Law, and this definitely makes me a lot more interested in my readings.

I'm deriving comfort from the fact that Congress has reacted with a collective "DUDE YOU'RE SHITTING US RIGHT" and "NO YOU CAN'T HAS BAILOUT NOT YOURS." Oregon's very own Peter DeFazio, bless his heart, kind of exploded all over this proposed legislation, and it's great to watch.

I love the quiet venom in his voice as he intones "It's about $1 billion a word." Made me want to run up to him and plant a big juicy smooch on his cheek, Bugs Bunny-style.

Comments

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

Dear Candy,

Thank you for your sensitive political analysis and apt metaphors. I shamelessly admit that I hate reading the news because it is boring as fuck, but would happily eat up every morsel of information if it came from your darling little fingers. I will raise an army to violently overthrow a newspaper, if only you promise you will write every article in it.

Sincerely,
Kelly

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

<3

We should have dinner some time soon while plotting vicious newspaper takeovers.

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

yes! name the time, deal lady. I'm out of town this weekend but next week is wide open and waiting for you :)

[linettasky.livejournal.com]

I apologize. I kind of want to say, "Just like your mom" in response to that comment, but I don't know you personally.

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you for the consideration. Now that we have "met" please feel free to make jokes about my mother in the future.

[linettasky.livejournal.com]

Huzzah! I think Candy's been trying to put us in the same room for a long time, if you're the Kelly I think you are. (And if you are, then you already know my Jeff.) Perhaps when this finally occurs I will take the liberty of referring more openly to my enjoyment of your mother.

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

OH, I didn't know you hadn't met, yet. For some reason, I thought you had.

Well, shows you what I know, hrm hrm hrm.

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

Ah yes! Although, I have to say I am really loving how civilized we are discussing your mentioned enjoyment.

[linettasky.livejournal.com]

I am, too. :) Thank you for being so sporting.

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

Perhaps next week can find enough... time for you as well?

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

The two of you kind of reminded me of this:

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

yay!

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Actually, those gophers are totally Ben and Robin, except Robin's more emo.

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

oh totally.

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Dude, you two totally know each other.

This is hilarious.

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

I decree next Wednesday to be the day of eating and rejoicing and evil plotting!

And if Wednesday doesn't work, then by gum Friday or Saturday!

[octi-stripe.livejournal.com]

Wednesday should be good. I will write it down!

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Woot! It's going on my Google calendar.

[theotherjay.livejournal.com]

Yes, NPR has been talking about this a great deal tonight.

The only good thing I can say about this is that it's going to be an interesting time to live to see, provided you - or your employer - doesn't need to buy anything on credit. Well, we all knew it was coming...

/how about that collective farm in Montana?

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

I want to sing "While my student loan gently weeps," but I'm not sure it's gently weeping so much as sobbing hysterically while covered in santorum.

[theotherjay.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sadly, the one thing this crisis is guaranteed not to do is to take the pressure off of people who owe lots of money. (Even though the worsening economic conditions that are in part caused by, and in part causing, the current crisis, make it that much harder for those people to actually repay in the first place.) Where's my government bailout?

It probably won't make your loans any worse, though, right?

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Two things that can go badly, badly wrong:

1. I have private loans as well as government loans, and the interest rates on those are variable, and can go as high as 24.99% instead of the eminently reasonable 5.25% that they are currently.

Realistically, it's not going to be that bad, but it could conceivably go into the low double digits, in which case, it'd be horrible enough. In any case, I'm expecting it to go up, and the thought makes me want to break things, because I hate paying interest.

2. If things REALLY crash and burn, it could make it considerably more difficult for me to secure adequate financing for my last year of law school. Again, very doubtful, but hey, what's a little neurotic obsession about finances between friends, eh?

[jrcorn.livejournal.com]

I think it would be more apt to sing "The Weight" by "The Band",

Take a load off Fanny, take a load for free;

Take a load off Fanny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

[trashglamapoc.livejournal.com]

I've been showing this video to everyone I know, I love it so much. I know that "It's about $1 billion a word," can't really sum up the complexities of the economic blah blah etc, but damn it sums up my opinion of these shenanigans. Highest paid writing gig in history. GUILLOTINES J/K