beautifulduckweed | Amusement

We're running a Big Misunderstanding contest at Smart Bitches. See, the Big Misunderstanding is a staple of badly-written romance fiction. The hero sees the heroine embracing a tall, dark, handsome stranger in the middle of the night, assumes the worst, throws a fit and the heroine across the room, and for the rest of the book, the two of them skulk around like wet cats, grumbling and hissing at each other until it's revealed that LO! IT WAS ACTUALLY HER LONG LOST BROTHER WHO WAS THOUGHT LOST AT SEA WHOM SHE WAS EMBRACING SO FERVENTLY! The one who's a spy for the Duke of Wellington, hence the secrecy and the dodgy location of their rendezvous, not to mention her inability to reveal his name or relationship to her or anything.

You get the idea.

So the contest is: most convoluted misunderstanding wins the prize. And there are many, many awesome misunderstandings. But the one that wins the prize for Geekiest Puns of All Time is this one:

“Tell me, beautiful Dell,” Duncan breathed into her apple-scented hair, “why do you deny my love so? What password will gain entry to your heart?”

She sighed and turned away, staring over the vista. “I can no longer hide it from you. You, Duncan Larksthrush, Duke of Rocksthrust, are a proud member of Clan Macintosh, whereas I—“

“Yes, my dearest?” he whispered, praying her response would allow him into her network.

“I am a member of the De Fenetre family, those your people call Windows. So you see that our love is forever hopeless.”

His heart accessed joy for the first time in many cycles. “But Dell, then there is no incompatibility at all! See the two pairs of footwear I sport—did you not realize that I am a dual-boot Macintosh?”

Dell crashed into his embrace.

Dual-boot Macintosh.

Hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Note: I did not write the above parody of a Big Misunderstanding. It was written by one of our readers as part of the Big Misunderstanding contest. Apologies for any confusion and if you thought I was somehow more awesome than I actually am. I'm pretty damn awesome, but that dual-boot Macintosh joke is awesome++, and therefore awesomer than I am.