What to give Candy for Christmas:

[beautifulduckweed]

Some of you out there have expressed an interest in getting me a Christmas present. Well, I'm going to be utterly shameless and tell you what I really, really want for Christmas.

I want a crocodile.

Yeah, you heard me. For the low, low price of $50, you can buy somebody a crocodile and do your part in eliminating poverty. If you're short on funds, you can get a few friends together and purchase a lovely crocodile, maybe even two, and share 'em with all your family and friends.

Credit to ariiadne for alerting me to the excellent awesomeness that is Oxfam Unwrapped.

Comments

[darwinpolice.livejournal.com]

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

I hate to say this, but...you win.

GODDAMN YOU, ERIK.

p.s. Santa Kitty hates you, too.

ACTUALLY MY CAT.

[darwinpolice.livejournal.com]

Re: ACTUALLY MY CAT.

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

I have a picture of a glass dildo on my cat Eric, who looks kind of pissed-off. I'm thinking it's ripe for a caption. ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE?

SERVED

[darwinpolice.livejournal.com]

Re: SERVED

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Re: SERVED

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Also, excellent filename.

Re: SERVED

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Right, to answer your question, and then I swear I'll stop spamming my own comment thread: There's a glass dildo on Eric because washing all that fur off the silicon dildo would've been a real bitch.

See? Perfectly reasonable answer.

Also, are you as amused as I am by the fact that my dido-laden cat's name is homophonous to yours?

Re: SERVED

[darwinpolice.livejournal.com]

Who you callin' a homophone? Them's fightin' words, missy.

Re: SERVED

[misshepeshu.livejournal.com]

Pfffff, don't even pretend you're not the biggest homophone-lover to ever sashay his way over to a thesaurus. Don't try to deny that you've explained the difference between "their" and "they're" to somebody before, 'cause I won't believe you.